Get better sex by restoring your relationship balance

When it comes to pleasure and sex pleasure in this case, it should be a two way traffic. Both of you should be able to have a good time equally. You can gauge the distribution of pleasure in the relationship by asking yourself a few questions.



The first question you should ask yourself is whose libido dictates during sex. In most cases men usually dominate in bed. According to results of a Mumsnet poll, women who don’t find enough time for sex are more self-centered in bed. All you need to do is make her take a lot of coffee and with a little persuasion make her try things your way and add a little froth to make things more interesting. According to a study conducted at the University of Queensland in Australia, caffeine was found to make people more open to persuasion and boosts sex drive in women.



The second question to be asked is on whom is foreplay mainly focused? Dr. Diana Wiley of the Seattle Institute for Sex Therapy says that, “the most complaint you will normally hear is, ‘He is not much into foreplay or he doesn’t give much’” A survey conducted by lovestruck.com shows that in 58% of the couples, the woman gets more attention from the man during foreplay. In order to receive as much as she gets, try getting her more excited by pressing your body against hers and she will start paying more attention to your body. Wiley says that 17 minutes of giving her pleasure with foreplay is enough to hit her gratitude levers.



The third thing to be considered is who reaches climax first between the two of you. According to a research in Brown University, it takes about 10-20 minutes for a woman to reach climax but only takes 7-14 minutes for a man to orgasm. For a uniform orgasm, make use of various positions and different foreplay techniques. Jean Pennant of the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationship says that, men tend to get aroused by a particular stimulation when given on a reliable and repeatable basis while women have a more diffuse and variable sexual response.



The fourth thing to consider is whose media taste plays the biggest role in influencing her expectations. Pennant says that women demand for good sex is as result of what they learn through the media. According to a study done at the University of Michigan, she gets more sexually assertive by reading women’s magazines. Pennant says that by asking her to watch pornography with you will make both you think as a couple about what you want in bed.



The fifth question to ask is whose fantasies get played most of the time. “Novelty is required when it comes to dopamine the chemical in the brain responsible for arousal” says Wiley. Surveys have shown that a woman’s fantasies get played most of the time. Make her cooperate in acting your fantasies and if she is unsure of it make her watch them with you for example, over the internet. According to a research by Robert Cialdini, a psychologist, people normally follow what they see if they are not sure how to act in order for the norm to be socially accepted.



The final thing to put into consideration is whose taste normally dictates when it comes to where to go for holidays or when choosing the restaurant to eat at. According to a report on a survey conducted by hotels.com, when it comes to planning for a holiday, only 12% of men were found to take the lead. According to Dr. Aaron Balick, a psychologist, lack of say when it comes to the pleasures of life makes your bargaining position on the physical pleasures very weak. “Sex is relational and sociological besides being biological.” Surprise her with a weekend getaway. According to a survey by the Society for the scientific study of sexuality, women who don’t feel glamorous about themselves have a low sexual satisfaction. Treat her with a high life experience and she will show her gratitude.